A TALE OF TWO TICKS
Politics and cattle ticks are just about the same
But if I had to choose, cattle ticks would be my game
A cow tick doesn't try to choose a side
She'll go where the feed is good and take a ride
Now, politics is a different varmint all its own
It's a nightmare just to understand how the seeds are sewn
When you get it all down, you ain't even on the mark
You think you've seen the light, but you're still in the dark
At least a cow tick doesn't lie or cheat, as far as we know
Oh, she may argue and fuss, but in the end, you'll win the show
A cow tick takin' a ride is like a junior senator waiting for a chance
Just hopin' that someday she'll be on board for the big dance
Now if we could only learn to put politicians through the dip
Once a year, as a preventative measure, before they take the trip
A vaccination of sorts to keep them free of bloodsucking leeches
Like those who would tempt their fate with junkets to exotic beaches
Now, if I could rid the world of only one kind of pest
Cow ticks would not be the number one choice on my list
I'd have to take politics and hope we get 'em all
'Cause just maybe, then, we'd stop the free-for-all
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
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THE EYES HAVE IT
Redeye, dead eye, tiger eye..
Bullseye, cat's eye, walleye, cockeye
Black eye, pink eye, golden eye
Hawkeye, birdseye, glass eye, eagle eye
It's an eye for an eye
So here's mud in your eye
Don't turn a blind eye
Or you might get the evil eye
She caught my eye, coming down the hall
So I kept my eye on the ball
You're keepin' your eye on the prize, I'm hopin'
So be sure to sleep with one eye open
All eyes on her as she slipped behind the curtain
Eye candy for sure and certain
Her eyes were a dark, smoky smolder.
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder
It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
Than it is for a poor man to listen to the lottery tweedle
It's easier to pass through the eye of the storm
Than to believe all those who try to misinform
I'll be a millionaire in the blink of an eye
In a pig's eye, as soon as pigs fly
The truth can only be seen with the naked eye
Aye, and if you think by now the "eyes" have it, ok, I'll buy
Redeye, dead eye, tiger eye..
Bullseye, cat's eye, walleye, cockeye
Black eye, pink eye, golden eye
Hawkeye, birdseye, glass eye, eagle eye
It's an eye for an eye
So here's mud in your eye
Don't turn a blind eye
Or you might get the evil eye
She caught my eye, coming down the hall
So I kept my eye on the ball
You're keepin' your eye on the prize, I'm hopin'
So be sure to sleep with one eye open
All eyes on her as she slipped behind the curtain
Eye candy for sure and certain
Her eyes were a dark, smoky smolder.
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder
It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
Than it is for a poor man to listen to the lottery tweedle
It's easier to pass through the eye of the storm
Than to believe all those who try to misinform
I'll be a millionaire in the blink of an eye
In a pig's eye, as soon as pigs fly
The truth can only be seen with the naked eye
Aye, and if you think by now the "eyes" have it, ok, I'll buy
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
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DAMNATION
Illegals pass the wire
To Eagle Pass they go
Third world families admire
The way we let the milk and honey flow
Legal eagles think they know
Who the illegals are
But they lie just for show
And keep chasing the north star
Concertina wire holds back
A concert of foreign voices
Barbed tongues cut through the soundtrack
Until we have no choices
A flood of humankind flows north
A kind of human no one understands
Do we hold 'em back or let them come forth?
How many new homes in the homeland?
Right or wrong, left or right
A pillow of sand and a blanket of dark
How many will get no sleep tonight?
Will tomorrow be a fresh start?
Give me your tired, wretched and poor
Give 'em to me when I ask
But not a single day before
That, I give to you as your life's task
Immigration, imagination, consternation
Assertation, litigation, damnation
Too much, too many, too often
Damn this nation.
© 2023 / Brian McNeal
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THE SUPREME QUESTION
The abortion issue just boggles my mind
What man has the right to interfere with womankind?
Right or wrong is only a confusion
Fostered by a mistaken illusion.
Your morals are your own so do what you will
But you can't have your neighbor's pill
Understand, if you can, it's not your call
Your horse don't stand in that stall.
Throw out your pollution but save a grossly deformed child
Argue with language that is reviled
Throw out the facts but keep your morals
Stay engaged, long live the quarrels.
Don't enter the race but complain loudly
When the winner parades proudly
It's a good poker hand but you're not at the table
To say you were cheated would be a fable
Make no allowance for circumstances
Like incest, rape or personal finances
Have no concern for the life after you've saved it
Just keep marching down the street after you've paved it
Ask the fetus what they would choose
There's no guarantee they won't refuse
Life is nothing like a bowl of cherries
It's full of disappointments and miseries
If you're not the quarterback you can't throw the ball
If you're not the coach you can't make the call
When you're not even in the game
Your argument is automatically lame
Christians believe in a wondrous eternal existence
But they think a fetus must keep it's distance
They want everyone to keep 'em down here below
Where it might be Hell for them, we don't know.
What gives them the right to be so hypocritical?
Using arguments that are casuistical
A camp on the left and a camp on the right
It's a moral tug-of-war with no end in sight.
© 2023 / Brian McNeal
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WHO
Who to vote for when a woman doesn't have the right to choose?
No matter who we select, everyone is going to lose.
Should we close it or should we keep an open border.
Well it is for darn certain that this country is out of order.
Division is the buz word everywhere you look.
Just say the party name and you can read 'em like a book.
Each side has some good arguments and points.
But each can get their noses bent out of joint.
Red is red and blue is blue and never the two shall meet.
One side sits on high now but soon the other will have the seat.
Ping Pong is a game but politics is not.
Seems whatever happens all we get is naught.
Spoiled children always want their way but adults need to compromise.
No matter what happens, someone is going to agonize.
Fix it now, because tomorrow may be too late.
When enough is enough, someone is going to close the gate.
The right is not always right and the left is not always wrong
If we gave them different labels would we get along?
Who should get your vote when you just can't decide?
It would be easier if somehow we could be more unified.
The state of the Union is: the Union is in a state.
The truth will never win because the lies will not abate.
It's an uphill battle to work alone but not as a team.
If we keep on, democracy will be nothing but a dream.
© 2023 / Brian McNeal
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THE DISSAPOINTMENT OF RED
Red is the color of fire trucks
Every little boy's interest
The color of Rubies and ladybugs for luck
And Pizza with thin crust
Once bright and vibrant with joy
The first out of the box in my youth
Now vexing and irksome by ploy
Nevermore a primary element of truth
Red used to be my first choice
But, like the colors of the rainbow
Highjacked by a loud voice
Now when it comes to red, I just say "no"
Commandeered by a radical right
Left unguarded by a democratic left
Red is the new black in the night
A victim of Republican theft
Just like the bull in the arena
When I see red, I stomp and snort
My eyes glaze over with a patina
Provoked by a crimson retort
Forever tarnished by misuse
Not since Hester's letter on her chest
Has any color been so abused
Red, oh Red, please resign in protest
...
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
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[A preface in the form of a disclaimer:
If ye be of the female gender
And if ye be offended
Ye hast not read the last verse
But if ye be a he
And be offended
Ye be allowed to curse]
WHAT A WOMAN WANTS
Women can dress like a man
And they can act like a man
But they can never be a man
They can walk in a man's shoes
And share a man's blues
Even go to a casino and lose
She might want to be a man
And she can try, if she can
But she'll never understand
What's in her head is not in her genes
What she wants she can't have for beans
It's simply not within her means
Oh, she can have the nip and tuck
And she can drive a man's truck
But she still can't have a man's luck
You can be three quarters or nine tenths
You can work and pay all the rents
You can camp in the wild and live in tents
But you'll never be all man, no matter what
You can't plant seeds and that's that
So, what you want is never adequate
You can push the envelope as far as you like
Dressed like a man, you look like a dyke
Are you Butch, Masc, Mike or Spike?
You'll never be what you pretend to be
You already had more than me
So why give it all up to be a fake he?
A man has more than he should
Sometimes, a brain like dead wood
Unable even to enter adulthood
Men work like a dog and act like a child
Can't grow up completely, gotta stay wild
Bad jokes, foul smells and all smiles
Men have egos they don't deserve
Idiocy they don't conserve
Ignorant of the faults they don't observe
All the power in existence
And still, they need assistance
Maintaining a stubborn persistence
From Neanderthal to troglodite to gorilla
And only past that by a scant scintilla
Four billion men and only one flavor - vanilla.
So why a woman would want to be a man
Can only mean one thing. I think I understand
She must know she can only improve upon the plan
If ye be of the female gender
And if ye be offended
Ye hast not read the last verse
But if ye be a he
And be offended
Ye be allowed to curse]
WHAT A WOMAN WANTS
Women can dress like a man
And they can act like a man
But they can never be a man
They can walk in a man's shoes
And share a man's blues
Even go to a casino and lose
She might want to be a man
And she can try, if she can
But she'll never understand
What's in her head is not in her genes
What she wants she can't have for beans
It's simply not within her means
Oh, she can have the nip and tuck
And she can drive a man's truck
But she still can't have a man's luck
You can be three quarters or nine tenths
You can work and pay all the rents
You can camp in the wild and live in tents
But you'll never be all man, no matter what
You can't plant seeds and that's that
So, what you want is never adequate
You can push the envelope as far as you like
Dressed like a man, you look like a dyke
Are you Butch, Masc, Mike or Spike?
You'll never be what you pretend to be
You already had more than me
So why give it all up to be a fake he?
A man has more than he should
Sometimes, a brain like dead wood
Unable even to enter adulthood
Men work like a dog and act like a child
Can't grow up completely, gotta stay wild
Bad jokes, foul smells and all smiles
Men have egos they don't deserve
Idiocy they don't conserve
Ignorant of the faults they don't observe
All the power in existence
And still, they need assistance
Maintaining a stubborn persistence
From Neanderthal to troglodite to gorilla
And only past that by a scant scintilla
Four billion men and only one flavor - vanilla.
So why a woman would want to be a man
Can only mean one thing. I think I understand
She must know she can only improve upon the plan
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
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THE BOULDERS AT VEDAUWOO
From my rooftop in Cheyenne
The boulders looked like the end
A sanctuary of peace and nature
Now negated by the legislature
A refuge for a teenaged band
Friends in bonding with the land
Musical prayers sent to the sky
Our own Rocky Mountain High
We had the best when we were young
But no one listened as we sang our song
The spirits in the rocks heard us, I'm sure
Guitars and Mogen David, now just a blur
Vedauwoo, you kept us in your hold
But a big yellow taxi foretold
The rocks are still there but the spirit is gone
Should have listened to the words of the song
"Don't it always seem to go, *
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
*Last stanza written by Joni Mitchell
[Big Yellow Taxi - 1970]
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